We fully recognize that we said in previous posts that drinking has its place, and we also gave robust praise to the way smoke can dry the tears.  All that is true, but you need to keep these things in their place, and this means that once you’re out of the woods you might want to take a long look at the situation you’re in to find yourself a way out of it.  We both have done this. We encouraged each other to quit smoking, and we won that battle. And we both continue to work on improving our relationships with booze, too.

SAD ABOUT IT:

Everyone asks you out to get drinks when you’re getting a divorce.  It is the go-to activity, and it can become too much of a habit. Pay attention if the bartender knows your name or the corner store guys start saying, “See you tomorrow night.”  Those are fine and good things when you need to be drinking, but they’re signs that your lifestyle might be fostering a problem. If drinking becomes habitual–particularly after you’ve muddled through the early throes of your transition into bachelordom–then it is time for you to think very honestly about what is happening in your relationship with alcohol, and you may need to mix that up a little bit.  When it comes to drinking, I was encouraged to find the “sober curious” movement. These are people who don’t want to quit drinking through AA (or even to quit for good) but who realize that folks should have an examined life as a drinker. There are books on this, and some even refer to this genre of books as “quit lit.” I recommend checking out the British perspective on all this in Catherine Gray’s The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.  That book is from a woman’s perspective in the UK, but it was very relevant and inspiring for me.  Check it out.

MAD ABOUT IT:

It would be interesting to conduct a study on the correlation between divorce and developing alcoholism or at least a bad drinking habit. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that feeling down can lead to tears in beers. Again, drinking has its place, but keep it in that place. Uber when you need to, because one thing you don’t want anytime, but especially while you are negotiating terms of a divorce, is a f*cking DUI. No one looks kindly on that. And I have never met anyone that felt good about getting a DUI or looked forward to shelling out the ten grand that it costs on average. (That is a sh*tload of Uber rides.  Do the math!) But the real point here is to check yourself before you wreck yourself. So, give you and your drinking an honest assessment before you get to know your bartenders too well.

SAD ABOUT IT:

It makes me sad to say it, but smoking is really bad for you.  It has its place, I think, and we said so earlier in the blog. But living is so much better than the alternative that we need to urge you away from the smokes.  I did this by obsessively chomping on Nicorette.  I was so cheap that I put off purchasing the stuff at first, but then I came around.  One package, chewed correctly (read all the ridiculous directions), nailed it for me. It broke the cycle.  I still wanted smokes sometimes, and I still smoked sometimes. But habitual, daily smoking is bad news. It hurts your lungs, screws with your running game, makes you stink, and turns your teeth and fingers all kinds of funky.  It messes with your love life. It cuts down on your ability to taste things. It screws with your ability to smell. It is even related to impotence. They may be delicious, but once you’re ready to thrive, cigarettes are something you should dial back and, if you can manage, stop altogether.  Take up some kind of ritualized activity–drinking tea, going on a walk, whatever–instead of lighting up. It is time for that part of the process to kick in, and you’ll be better for quitting.