Even if you’re letting yourself go for a bit, don’t let yourself go completely.  What do we mean? Don’t get so fat that you need to have surgery. Don’t become a drunk and lose your job.  Don’t poison the well with old friends. The same goes for your physical well-being, and taking care of your body will help your mind.  (After all, your brain is part of your body!) The easiest form of self-care is to go on a jog. We’re believers.

MAD ABOUT IT:

Sometimes I like to combine two of my favorite activities, running and drinking. You know how your emotions can get the best of you when you drink? A great way to jolt yourself out of a tipsy revelry, is to go for a run. Get it out, sweat it out. Of course, you don’t have to drink to go run, just saying, they can coexist. Not only is it cathartic, but it will help you maintain. Now isn’t the time to get puffy from those self-pity pints. Eventually you will have the opportunity to get physical with a new someone and running will only help in that arena.

SAD ABOUT IT:

I can’t imagine running boozy, but I honor your gusto.  I’ll say this: Running was hard for me, but it got me up in the mornings.  I found a jogging buddy, and I went with that. This was a close friend, and our runs gave me a chance to check in.  I told him the truth sometimes, spilling my guts as we jogged. Other times I would share other truths: “I’m too hungover to run.”  The guy was always stand-up–no judgment, no bullsh*t. He would walk with me on the rough days, and he made sure I didn’t dwell on the stupid sh*t if I was stuck in a mental feedback loop, and he always listened.  I really asked a lot of him, and I came to see our routine as essential. Actually, no sh*t, I got to the point that I forced this guy to run with me. How? I looked ahead about six months, and signed up for a race.  I needed something to aspire to, and there was a race. A big ass race. Anyway, I signed up my buddy without telling him, and then told him–when we were on our next run–that we had to train for our race. A dick move, sure, but it got me outside and moving in the mornings, and I ran my face off.  I was slow as hell and out of shape (from eating, drinking, and smoking), but I was staying at it. And I was encouraged along the way to read in the New York Times that running would improve and elongate my life even if I was a fat-ass smoker who drank way too much.  (Thanks “failing New York Times!”)  The training brought me yet closer to my running bro–who, by the way, I treated to food, drink, and lodging during our weekend adventure to run the race.  (That tempered my dick move of forcing him to train.) I recommend you find a running bro of your own (or a running group), and then pick one of these fifty races to run.  You can do it, and running will help you get out of your funk.

MAD ABOUT IT:

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination.”

-Nelson Mandela

You are on a journey. A long, arduous journey riddled with bullsh*t and heartache. Keeping your head in the right place and your heart whole along the way is a tough thing to do. Running is something that helps with the head and the heart, well, at least the physical heart. A lot is going through your head and this is all new territory, sometimes perilous territory that demands your attention. Running will allow you time to fixate, plan, vent, clear out, whatever your head needs at the time. Sometimes you need to think and sometimes you need to just be. Running offers a way to get both. As for the figurative heart, I find that it regulates my emotions. I have never felt worse or more pissed after a run, that’s for sure. As for the myocardium, it’s just a happy consequence that the physical will get fit.

SAD ABOUT IT:

Here’s a coda to this bit of advice: I remember exactly where I was when I got a pdf of the divorce papers that, finally, had been signed by a judge.  A few days later they came in the mail, but the arrival of the email was a sign that things were done. That news was huge, so when and how I received it mattered a lot, but such a thing–of course–was out of my control.  This could have happened at the wrong time–perhaps when I was drunk, getting sick, crying, or feeling lonesome for any number of reasons that involve being a human. But that’s not what happened. Nope. I looked down at my phone to turn on music for a run, and a message was there from my lawyer.  I opened an attachment and BOOM: I was single. That was a great f*cking run. No tears, no regrets. It was perfect running weather, and I was ready to go–on a solo run no less! Now, I’m not saying this will happen for you, stranger, but you can increase the chances that sh*t news comes your way when you’re treating yourself right if you, in fact, spend some time treating yourself right.  This isn’t a locksafe plan for your mental health; that is, running alone won’t solve your problems, and going on runs won’t guarantee that you get bad news when feeling a runner’s high, but it is true thanks to the simple realities of logic and finite time that you will have a better chance of feeling good and getting bad news when you can handle it if you take care of yourself. So go on a run.  Exercise. Your story may play out very differently than mine, but looking after your health will only fortify your ability to handle difficult news well. And you, stranger, I’m talking to you: I wish for you to get tough news when you’re all geared up and prepared for a long jog through a beautiful park. That’s the way to do it.