As a society, we’ve shamed smokers, and we’ve made tobacco into an evil thing.  That’s too bad because smoking is fun and delicious. We both smoked our way through the pain, and then we quit, and you can do that too.  Surgeon’s General Warning: Smoking kills the sh*t out of people!

SAD ABOUT IT:

God, I love cigarettes, and my ex-wife hated them so much!  I think it was part of my freedom to begin smoking whenever I wanted to smoke.  And it served so many purposes. I smoked to relax. I smoked to express my stress.  I smoked because I had a head buzz from drinking. I smoked a lot, and I loved it. Hell, I remember how pleased I was when Mad About It came over to celebrate the signing of my separation agreement.  You swooped in with bourbon and smokes, and I was so happy…in a Sad About It kind of way. Remember?

MAD ABOUT IT:

Yeah, I do.  I had made a very conscious decision to take up smoking while I was going through the separation and divorce.  I told myself it would be a one year effort. While it was a great way to give myself some time to think and be alone with my thoughts, it was also a bang up way to piss off my ex since she hates smoking. That was just a little added fun.  

For most, there is a time where you’re still living in the same house working towards separate living situations.  Smoking made me feel that I had time and space that were just for me in the confines of the awkwardness. Smoking was also a way for me to keep my ruminating to the length of a cigarette while I was at work.  In a way, it helped me compartmentalize the shake up in my personal life. Not condoning it, but smoking for a time was totally worth it for me. Oh, and my smoking did not end up going on much past that one year mark.

SAD ABOUT IT:

Cigarettes are the best at night–or on a quiet morning.  They punctuate loneliness for me in a way that suggests that being alone is just fine.  I love watching the cherry of the smoke light up with the inhale. I love the occasional head rush that comes with nicotine.  I love the sound of dropping a cigarette into a can with liquid in it. Really, I wish cigarettes were good for you, but they aren’t.  Also, they won’t help your dating game. Keep in mind that they work well for a person who is alone, but they are pretty isolating and stinky, too.  Indulge. But be real at the same time. Just know that if you need a tobacco crutch you’re not alone, and there’s a lot to get out of the joy of smoking when so few things provide you with joy.  Roll with it. Then quit.