Eating is necessary, so let’s assume you’re doing it.  Odds are that you aren’t cooking much because cooking for one seems depressing or you never dialed in your kitchen skills because your ex-wife cooked.  So you eat out. That’s cool, but restaurants can be tough places when you’re like you are right now. Maybe you run into people you don’t want to see when you go out.  You probably order calorically-dense food. You might drink too much. I mean, that all makes sense, but it isn’t a road to health or wealth. Perhaps you’re in a darker place, and you’re ordering pizza for delivery and hitting drive-thru fast food joints all the time.  That is straight-up no good in the long term. So here’s the thing: Learn to cook. You have options, and this is a smart move for a bachelor. Actually, this is straight-up certified bachelor genius.

SAD ABOUT IT:

Sometimes I think 21st century masculinity is an oxymoron, and then I see Anthony Bourdain on TV.  (Rest in peace, Tony!) A jujitsu-doing silver fox of a dude, that guy drank, ate, and bullshat his way across the world, and it remains a precious release for me to watch him–a twice divorced man–as he indulged his way to wealth and fame.  You know Bourdain must have had women chasing him in every town, village, and restaurant. Not a bad life. So sad that he had other demons. And here’s the thing: In Kitchen Confidential, the book that made him a celebrity for the first time, Bourdain wrote about deciding to cook for a living way back in the 1970s.  What was his motive? He watched a chef snag a bride-to-be from her wedding party. The two went outside to screw around, and he remembered this as a key moment in his life.  “I knew then, dear reader, for the first time: I wanted to be a chef.” Take note, men. Cooking is sexy. Women love it, and you gotta eat, so this is a no-brainer. Take this dark time in your life, when you feel like you have no life at all, as an opportunity to learn something basic that will serve you forever.  Cook and ye shall seem hotter than you are…and you’ll eat better. Plus, if you have a freakish work ethic you might become a famous, globe-trotting culinary hero. Anything is possible. Bourdain was washing dishes in his forties.

MAD ABOUT IT:

You wouldn’t think that grudge eating would be delicious or particularly healthy, but I must confess, I for one enjoyed the sh*t out of it. Now, I had a lot to work with and be liberated from. My ex was a vegetarian, and not a health nut vegetarian, but a self righteous vegetarian…the worst kind. P.S. she almost immediately started eating meat once we split. I guess now that it wasn’t my idea it was a good idea. So, I went, with my child, to a Five Guys and unabashedly enjoyed every bite, every greasy, salty, exquisite morsel.  Along with a bag of fries and a sugary beverage. Not the best for the newly single man’s waistline, but the soul needs nourishment, too. Something as normal as eating a burger and fries turned out to be a spiritual experience that made me realize how much someone else’s judgement can suck the enjoyment out of life.

SAD ABOUT IT:

Getting started was the hard part for me.  I was totally a mess. I mean, I remember eating a bunch of canned food from Trader Joe’s because I already had it in my pantry, and then I would go stake out the parking lot to make sure no one was at Trader Joe’s before going in to buy more food (usually late at night).  So stupid. That’s when Blue Apron entered my life, and I give it a gold star for getting me back in the kitchen while not requiring me to see any-f*cking-body as I prepped for meals. It is perfect for the recently divorced man who wants some cooking chops.  Let me explain: This company pre-measures gourmet meals portioned for two people, and then they mail you the groceries and illustrated directions about cooking them.  Genius! Bad ass! There are other options, but Blue Apron helped me. And I can tell you this: It is every bit as good as it sounds. I would eat one half for dinner, and then I’d have the best lunch at work the next day.  This totally justified, for me, the price tag of somewhere around $60 a week (for three meals–which became six meals). Hell, Blue Apron started giving me free meals to distribute because I got into it for a while. Actually, I gave some free meals to Mad About It.

MAD ABOUT IT:

Not into hitting the grocery? At a bit of a loss in those fluorescent lit aisles of infinite choices? Well, the internet to the rescue. There is an increasing amount of food delivery services that will hook you up with all the ingredients and directions, without you ever needing to stand in line at the store. Pretty sweet. And knowing how to whip up a couple of basic dishes will help you out when you’re ready to have a lady to the house you are hoping to endear to your charms.

So when Sad About It hooked me up with Blue Apron, I was stoked to try it. I kind of dig cooking already, so this just took the shopping out of the equation.  I learned some really basic moves I had no idea would make such an impact on my meal repertoire, because with a kiddo to cook for, time and nutrition are of the essence. I highly recommend trying it especially if you have a kid. You can teach them a skill that is very simple for them to participate in. They can read the instructions and pluck in the ingredients and you can do it together!

As for cooking for one, it provides an activity and keeps you away from eating out or grabbing for quick fixes like chips, candy, you know, highly processed but convenient sh*t.  Also, you get dinner and lunch for tomorrow out of the deal. Give it a shot. It’s a nice way to spend time with yourself. And if you’re anything like me, you will appreciate being the only cook in the kitchen; my ex was an objectively sh*tty cook, so stepping up my cooking game is just another way I am better than her. Ha!

SAD ABOUT IT:

As a result of being in my kitchen more, I began to gain confidence as a cook, and I also tapped into something deeper–something both related to my divorce and related to my rediscovering of myself through my divorce.  To be specific to my experience, I started cooking more bread. So what? Well, my ex-wife was gluten intolerant, so I had learned a lot of cooking and eating habits related to her dietary restrictions. What I came to realize was that she wasn’t there anymore, so I could expand my perspective on food.  I learned a lot about baking, and I began to gift artisan loaves of bread to my friends. My father had been a baker, so I found deep meaning in this project. I learned a lot from this book, and it was great.  At the same time, that discovery left me gaining weight, and that led me toward a different diet–one that can be best called paleo, but–in reality–was the Whole 30.  This changed my life. You can learn all about that diet in this book about the Whole 30.  (The authors were married; now they’re divorced.)  This cookbook as well as its follow-up (which was better than the original) were transformative for me–both in terms of my cooking style and my physical appearance.  I decided to learn some fancy recipes for myself (or possibly a date and me), so I got this cookbook, too.  The cooking journey was a long and personal journey for me.  Eventually, I got into cooking on a budget, so I came to love this app.  Then I started trying to save time, so I got a life-changing kitchen gadget to speed things along.  That one was the Instant Pot.  And, wait for it, wait for it, here is a paleo cookbook that uses the Instant Pot in its instructions.  And here’s another.  Oh, and here is a version of that last one that combines paleo, Instant Pot, and affordability.  (So many links! I mean, I had to sort this sh*t out over a year, and you’re getting it all in a paragraph.)  As for the kind of cooking I got into, I raced toward the gluten, and then I learned how to cook without it. Along the way I developed my own preferences and style in the kitchen.  I encourage you to check out my recommendations as you work toward being your own Bourdain. Good luck.

MAD ABOUT IT:

This sounds silly and simple, but I think it is elementally important for men to cook with fire. Preferably something that involves you physically building a fire. Whether it be with coal or wood, you will connect with process. This girl I dated told me it was empirically true that the manliest thing a man could do is chop wood.  Do it.